Fifty Miles Out of Bajada
The
highway stretches out for what seems like eternity. To the east, the desert is
all smooth dunes, like slow waves over a yellow ocean. To the west, the vast El-Katha
Oasis accompanies the highway, not daring to get too near and provide the cool
of shade.
The
day seems like it is going to last forever. Ivan squirts more sunscreen on his
skin and rubs it. Eris lets her eyes drift as he does this. He cannot seem control
himself as he sensuously rubs the lotion in a repetitive pattern into his
muscles, or perhaps she is projecting her own insatiability onto him. His hair
is sun-bleached, far too white, especially given how the tanning and burning
has made his skin dark. Eris has been careful. She has managed to avoid getting
burned.
She
has a hard time keeping her eyes off of his arms as he rubs the lotion deep
into his skin. Her attention lapses, and in that moment, she does not see the
dog wander into the road.
There
is a horrible sound, a yelp accelerated. She slams on the brakes. Ivan drops
the sunscreen bottle, and it launches itself at the windshield, splattering its
contents all over the dashboard.
“What
was that?” asks Ivan.
“Dog…
I think it was a dog.” She is trembling. She has never hit an animal before. She
loves animals. She had a dog once when she was a child, and immediately she
imagines the pain that the dog’s owner will be feeling when she finds out what
has happened. And then a selfish thought occurs to her. She imagines the
horrifying gore that could be left on her car. She was traveling at a high
speed. There could be blood and intestines. In her mind, the insides are all
intestines, those horrific, unwinding worms that seem to come out of a body, or
so she imagines.
Ivan
is frozen, a stupid, open-jawed look on his face. He had distracted her. It was
his fault, though even in her panic and anger she also realizes that this is
idiotic, and that it is her fault.
It
takes her an eternity to open her door. She steps out of the car and, eyes
clenched nearly shut, so that her vision is nearly dark, but for a few bright
sources of light, she walks forward.
“Do
you want me to look?” asks Ivan.
“No!”
she shouts back.
Now
panic sets in. What if it wasn’t even a dog? What if it was person? Or a child?
She considers how this one moment might have ruined her life. If she had killed
a child, she would go to her grave knowing that she had done that.
And
it occurs to her that even if it is a dog, she will still never forget this
moment. The memorable moments are so horrific. She thinks about how it is
always best to live in those unmemorable moments, when one can perhaps reflect
on the memorable ones from the safe distance of time.
She
opens her eyes.
The
car is undamaged. There is no blood.
She
looks back behind the car. There is no dog. No smeared trail of gore and
viscera, nor any sad lump of fur and skin. There is no dog there at all. No
child. No garbage left to fly off the back of a truck.
“Ivan?”
She is not relieved.
He
gets out. He looks back down the highway. He clearly sees nothing either.
“Maybe it got thrown from the road?” The highway is raised, and there is a
slope a few feet tall that leads down to the desert floor. Eris walks to the
side of the road and looks down. Still, there is nothing. She goes back to the
front of her car and inspects it once again. There is no damage. None of the
blood or intestines that she had imagined flying out from the dog.
There
is a horrible sound, a yelp accelerated. Every muscle in her body tenses up.
She looks up to Ivan, who has turned his head. He is looking back behind the
car. He is nearly motionless. His eyes appear to be tearing up.
“What
did you see?”
Ivan
shivers tremendously. He steadies himself on the car. He cannot seem to speak.
His mouth opens, and he inhales, as if about to speak, but no words come out.
He closes his mouth.
Eris
walks around the front of the car, standing just out of reach of him.
His
mouth opens, and he inhales, as if about to speak, but no words come out. He
closes his mouth.
There
is a horrible sound, a yelp accelerated.
She
watches as the dog, bursting like a bloody balloon, vanishes forty feet behind
where the car had stopped.
She
steps closer to Ivan. Her mouth opens, and she inhales, as if about to speak,
but no words come out. She closes her mouth.
A
brown dog with light fur on its face slowly climbs up the slope toward the
highway. It is a fairly large dog, but not unusually so. The dog sniffs the
black pavement and then begins to walk out onto the highway.
There
is a horrible sound, a yelp accelerated.
Eris
watches as the dog, bursting like a bloody balloon, vanishes.
A
dark cloud is forming in the sky above. It is not a rain cloud, because rain
doesn’t come in this part of the desert at this time of year. The sky is
growing darker, and the air is growing colder.
A
brown dog with light fur on its face slowly climbs up the slope toward the
highway.
Eris
gets back in the car. “Get in, Ivan,” she says. He does, and as he closes the
door, there is a horrible sound, a yelp accelerated.
The
car begins to move, and they travel farther down the highway. Behind them, the
sound of the dog grows fainter, but it does not become inaudible.
Ivan’s
mouth opens, and he inhales, as if about to speak, but no words come out. He
closes his mouth.
The
cloud grows larger and lower. It is no longer a cloud, but fog. The fog is
thick and wet and grey. The highway is dark now.
And
an emaciated man with dead eyes appears in front of the car. The car stops.
(Copyright Daniel Szolovits 2015)